I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
