Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
