i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
