i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
