I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
