Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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