I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
