I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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