it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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