with your own penis?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
