Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
