I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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