speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
