hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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