writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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