im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
