I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
