my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
