well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
