Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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