It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
