The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
