I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am available for nakedness
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
