Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize