don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
