i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
