She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
