Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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