epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
