we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
