She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
