my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
