I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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