i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
