i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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