At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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