You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
