3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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