dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
