Need sex. Gaining weight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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