I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
