yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
