In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
