the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
