she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
