"it" just moved
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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