Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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