Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize