I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
