im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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