how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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