living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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