My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He passed out mid-signature
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i've created a new STD.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
