this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
