Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a hot homeless man
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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