Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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