this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
