I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
