I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
