I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He has the fingertips of a God
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