We won't sleep together?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
