It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
