the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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