Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
