my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
