Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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