Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
