you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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