someone threw a dead crab at me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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